Test Drive 1

[badgernet]

Test Drive 1

Welcome to the beta test of BadgerNet, Multiversal Edition! Settle in and enjoy your posting experiences. Everything in this will be non-canon.

Here're some example prompts to play around with. You can make up your own!

1. An embarrassing moment of yours just got posted to the site. Oops!
2. Post your proudest moment to the site.
3. Hiccup Event: Vampires. Everyone affected is a vampire, your choice of what style of vampire.
4. Hiccup Event: Disney Princess. Animals just won't leave you alone!
5. Hiccup Event: Actor. You believe you're an actor playing the role of yourself as a character and you have the props and everything to prove it. Chill offstage and all that.
6. You're livestreaming a dramatic moment in your life.
7. Asking the people on the site for advice on something.

And so on. Be sure to read the rules and FAQ before posting.

Comments

Nakajima Atsushi | Bungou to Alchemist | Prismatica CRAU

[tigerpoet]

Any thoughts on how to explain to my coworkers why I came home one day with tails?

Assume I don't want to tell them the actual details.

[departed_child_of_gods]

Clearly the answer is to act indignant that they didn't notice them sooner.

Hypnos | Hades | sorry for no icons yet

[oneiroslacker]

I've been trying out a new line for when shades arrive in Hades. Tell me how this would sound to you if you'd just died suddenly:

"Welcome to Hades, have a nice death!"

Re: Hypnos | Hades | sorry for no icons yet

[departed_child_of_gods]

Frankly ANYTHING would have been nice to hear when I died. >:C

Gershom Alter | Original Character

[accidentallich]

Yom Kippur just passed... It's a little too late for this year, but does anyone know a good substitute for fasting when you haven't eaten in centuries? I feel like I should do something different.

[talkyourwayout]

Give up something besides food, I guess?

Helena Stark (Rule!63 Howard Stark) l MCU

[flirtyinventor]

[Canon through Agent Carter so 1940s edition, treadjacks are a-ok!]

[A livestream of a lab accident aka something blows up goes here.]

Oh dear, should have adjusted that wire after all....

[textelepathy]

yo lady ain't you s'posed to be wearing more ppe than that to be fucking around with explosives?
you okay though? need a doc? medkit? world guard responders? crisis-responsive therapist?
weed? we got some HELLA good weed right now!

Eisuke Hondou | Detective Conan

[notsoclumsy]

There’s a Reason This Journal’s URL is notsoclumsy

[The video clicks on just in time to show...a blur of movement and a brief yell before the recording finally clears up. After a second the phone recording this is apparently picked up and turned around to show Eisuke’s face, who reacts in shock at seeing the phone is recording.]

“Wait, why is this recording?!”

[He then fumbles the camera off.]

Jumping to Bad Conclusions

I think I made some mistakes.
Anyways, I guess I'm back and able to talk again. Anything happen while I was away?

[You know, because he has nothing better to do while locked in an empty hospital room. Just...ignore the fact that he went completely AWOL from the community for a while there.]

[atleastimnotzeus_boy]

For a moment it looked like you would detour into my halls. I am gladdened that I didn't need to fill out that parchmentwork on your behalf; take that as you will.

I trust your physician's potions and plenty of bed rest has done wonders for your health?

Osomatsu Matsuno | Osomatsu-San | Open to Threadjacking!

[zenryokubatankyu]

[2]

internet I have a story. one of my little brothers couldn't open like, this really tight jar, right? and this has happened before. no luck. i said 'give it to me' and i didn't think i could do it

i was wrong and i am a man of unparalleled strength everyone should be proud of me i got the Nutella open :D

[4]

internet i feel whimsical
like, it's not bad? but it's weird. it's a singy mood???
also holy shit there's a deer outside and it's looking at me like it expects something
what do you want from me you horned beast
pls send help i am prepared to cower after i express my emotions with a heartfelt ballad oh my god i'm turning into one of my little brothers
it's too late
save yourself

[5]

This is a pretty garbage part. I mean, seriously? What even is this? I'm the oldest of sextuplets, and that's probably my defining trait? I drink, and I gamble, and people find interest in that? Who? And for the love of God, why?

Does anyone know of any auditions for parts open with dignity? This is so not going on my resume. I'm meant for more challenging works, my word. Tch.

4

[phobophage]

Why do I feel a urge to turn into one of my animal forms and frolick around you.

This Jackass (Daiki Kaitou) | Kamen Rider Decade/Heisei Era

[of_many_treasures]

1. [ You're sure of it.

Something's gone missing in your place. Something important. You've looked high and low, or perhaps caught the thief in the act. Either way, he's smiling smugly, his gun in your face. ]

Sorry, but I've found such a precious treasure. You should pay more attention.

2. Annoying the passing through people is always fun. But can he stop being a jerk half the time?

At least he's returned your precious item. But why is he hanging in your house now? Eating your food. Being a pest.

1

[phobophage]

[She stares at the gun for a moment. Then suddenly bursts into laughter.]

A gun. Cute. I'll have to have you give that painting back, it's an important memorial.

Juggulus Juggler | Kaiju Girls Universe

[coffee_at_dawn]

1. [ Just an ordinary man. Nothing to see here.

Just an ordinary man, mooning over a kaiju lady who is stomping a shadowy monster twenty feet away. ]

Oh my lady King Joe, what I wouldn't give to be by your side <3 If only I could talk to you when you were off duty...! Oh is this recording? What interesting timing to spy on a mooning lover... how rude...

[ And he cuts the camera in half with a katana from nowhere. ]


2. [ Juggler is just sipping coffee while checking his watch. ]

It's almost time for work. I should probably-- oh you're back. Well then, what is this all about community? Come to chat?

2 (but also sorta 1)

[sailorfuk_u]

how many fuckin web cams do you have dude i just saw you cut that shit in half earlier

Alfie Solomons | Peaky Blinders

[devoutish]

[video]

[The network takes over one of Alfie's ledger books at a little before midnight on a night when he's up working late, and he is immediately certain of two things: one, this is a powerful and fantastical thing, the likes of which he has never seen nor heard of before.

And two, he absolutely does not have time for this right now.

From the way the book is positioned, viewers don't get a view of his full face - just the edge of his mouth and the left side of a full, neatly-trimmed beard. Also in the shot are the dark wood wall panels of his poorly-lit office, a strew of papers across the desk, and a very old-fashioned telephone.]

Fuck off.

[He says, his voice deep and gravely and extremely Cockney.]

I'm busy.

[Wondrous magical marvels can come later, thank you; right now, he has to work.]

Re: Alfie Solomons | Peaky Blinders

[flirtyinventor]

You and me both, especially since this is quite impossible!

Rachel Gardner | Angels of Death

[koroshite]

[3] Vampires;
[Honestly nothing is that different. Rachel was always fairly pale, though now her pallor is that much more pronounced. Her eyes had more life to them but even with this whole 'being dead' part of vampirism, the unusually bright gleam of her eyes is pretty fitting for her.

The worst part about all of this though is --]

Ow!

[Her brow scrunches up as she visibly winces.]

I keep biting myself.

[4] Princesses;
[Rachel probably looks far more pleased than she ever has before. Maybe this whole covered in animals thing is supposed to be bad but frankly out of all the hiccups this one is by far the best in her opinion.

At present she has birds perched on her shoulders, a cat dangling off of her head and a plump puppy in either arm. And she is near shining with pleasure here.

... Well, for a moment at least.]

I'm not sure what to do with all of them.

[Surely Zack won't mind if she brings home, like, ten animals or something. Right?]

[7] Advice;
[She's opting for video here, at least to start off with.]

What are some good beginner's texts for helping someone learn to read?

4

[accidentallich]

[Wish that were him!!]

Have you named them all yet, nu?

Louie Duck | DuckTales 2017 | Open

[talkyourwayout]

Alright, internet, I have a problem. How do you guys get out of stupid chores? My family is mostly used to all my tricks.

Oh, to be clear, a chore is stupid when there's hired help who literally has nothing better to do because he's dead anyway.

[oldbetsy]

Well for me I just start an argument with Bob. That's guaranteed to get me out of pretty much anything cause he'll get all hot-headed and forget the rest of whatever he was yammering about.

You got a hot-head in the family? Then bingo you've got your ticket out, bucko.

Helga Pataki | Hey Arnold! AU

[oldbetsy]

Okay let's just say *theoretically* you managed to mail off a letter you never meant to see the light of day.

Exactly how hard is it to break into a mailbox?

[talkyourwayout]

I'd imagine it depends on your experience breaking into things.

But if the letter's not going too far, you're probably better off taking it out of the mailbox before the person you mailed it to gets it than stopping it from being mailed at all.

It's still a felony, but at least it's an easier felony.

Nozomi Yumehara | Yes! Pretty Cure 5 (Mayfield/MLJJ/Melodies/Other CRAU)

[cureofmanyworlds]

1) Embarrassing Moment [And it's... nothing but a younger Nozomi klutzing out all over her old school. She can't help but sigh and shake her head]

I wasn't... the most graceful. Still not graceful.

4) Hiccup: Princess [Help, Nozomi is buried with animals. Lots of animals. It's an explosion of animals. Maybe a few Pokemon, too.]

Hey, uh, can someone come and give me a hand here? I, uh... I can't feel my legs. I think they fell asleep. I can't tell because I got puppies on my legs.

5) Hiccup: Actor [Nozomi can't help but let out a sigh, rolling her eyes at the camera in annoyance.]

Seriously, I feel like I've done nothing but this role! I mean, sure, I've grown and expanded, but it feels... I dunno... hollow? Like someone forgot any real personality?

But, then again, wearing those adorable outfits does make the time worthwhile.

1 - Voice

[ordinarythings]

Did you mean to show this on the network?

Peter Martin | OC

[joblin]

[1: Video] [The green guy takes a deep breath and steels himself. He's got this. He's got to at least try this.]

Ha, I see my experimental film got leaked. Not to worry, I was helping out a friend, a student in media relations. A mock-up commercial for chocolate fountains, which I don't normally swim in at all!

Don't worry, we realized the whole thing makes it look like we were endorsing irresponsible behavior at clubs and subway turnstiles and public bathrooms and wedding receptions. We're probably gonna scrap the whole thing, but it was fun while it lasted.

[Plausible! Deniability!]

[3: Text] Is it me or is this morning worse than usual?

[4: Video] [Peter's sitting at a desk, when there's a sudden thud. He goes over to the window, opens it, leans out and recovers a stunned pigeon.]

"Little guy's knocked out."

[While he's doing that a second one flies into the room, circles him, closely followed by another. There's some shooing with a towel and he doesn't notice a third, fourth, and fifth entering the room to circle him. It escalates from there, pigeons pouring in and circling like amorous vultures.]

3

[wolfishflame]

sometimes it do be like that

Anand Maere | Tabletop OC from a setting that's a severe AU of RWBY? Look, don't worry about it

[preventedmurder]

[2]

[A wild teenage girl with bird wings and a collection of mostly-healed minor cuts on her face appears.]

Welp, killed a giant evil deer. You're welcome, people from my world who can't actually see this.

[There's not much visible over her shoulder in the selfie cam except black smoke and trees that appear to be made of glass.]

I need to ask, though, is "fight a giant woodland demon" a normal first-year school project anywhere else?

[She sniffs, and makes a face.]

Also does anyone else know any herbalist-types who literally dump plant extracts on you to heal? I'm not saying this smells bad but it makes a lot less sense in hindsight than it did in combat.

[7]

Okay, question.

Your country just got couped by a corporatist dictator. He wants to shut down your school to sell more combat robots and probably start a world war to bankroll himself in perpetuity. You're one of about four people with any clue on how he managed to get this far, and it's some real nasty work you're desperately trying to produce evidence of.

Good time to ask out your roommate y/n?

[joblin]

7

It's not the best time. Might be kind of a distraction from getting the evidence to show the company that you're smart enough to know how these things go. Whatever.

...you are trying to get a job with them, right?

Lirikani and Kubukani || OU OCs || Prompt 6

[textelepathy]

[This is a video post. When it begins, the image is of pavement, and a pair of boots, and you catch the tail end of an androgynous voice:] --an't believe I gotta use an actual interface for this, why ain't I eligible for augment eyeballs--

[Someone pressed record too early. Whoops.

The video swings up! Now the view is of a huge, hangar-like warehouse. It's mostly in shadow, with just a few lights illuminating a single-- robot? Standing in the middle of a clear floor. The cameraperson's voice returns.]

All right sibs, none'a y'all are ready for THIS. Hit it, Lirikani!!

[There's no apparent signal given, but music starts booming out of a speaker somewhere, electronic and throbbing. And the robot? Starts to dance. Yup. Of course, it's a robot that looks a little like this and a little like this and honestly, so the dancing looks... odd. The robot's arms keep impacting with the cockpit unintentionally; the video actually jerks a couple times as the cameraperson flinches in response to the noise.

But the real piece de resistance is when the robot tries to execute a spin, gets tangled in it's own legs, and falls hard to the 'crete floor. The cameraperson can be heard swearing, and the video is jumbled and chaotic for a minute, showing the floor again, and running feet, and then hands and a rail as the cameraperson vaults a barrier and drops to the floor below. The voice yells "Liri! Liri!" a couple times.

Then there's a scraping metal sound and the camera swings back up, fixing much more closely on the robot as the cockpit canopy opens against the floor-- and ejects a slim pilot in a dark-colored jumpsuit with some force. The camera tracks the body as it tumbles across the floor, finally stopping just at the edge of the light.]

Liri...?

The pilot sits up and wrestles off their helmet. They's dark-skinned, with a narrow, laughing face, close cropped hair, and brilliantly white teeth. They begins to laugh.]

Did you see that? Oh my god, what a crash! Tell me you got it on camera!

[...Video end.]

[joblin]

[Applause and laughter]

I'm impressed.

Tom Nook | Animal Crossing | OTA

[nookandcranny]

2:
[There's a picture of Tom standing in front of a shop with his hands on the heads of two smaller Tanuki kids]
Timmy and Tommy finished their first day of work. I couldn't be prouder of all the work they've put in, yes yes.

7:
I have this... acquaintance from an earlier time in my life. I am not looking forward to dealing with them, but their presence is quickly becoming harder to ignore. Can someone help advise me in what I should do about approaching someone who has betrayed my trust? Because my initial idea was to grab an axe. I don't think that would set a good example for my boys. Thank you for your consideration, yes yes.

2

[tigerpoet]

How wonderful! Are those your sons?

Shinjiro Aragaki | Persona 3 (Portable, pre-canon)

[fruitknife]

4, video

[The view is pretty high up - turns out, when the camera pans a little, to be the top bars of a jungle gym. There's an albino shiba inu perched near the base of the structure (interesting note for anyone else from Iwatodai: he's wearing a regular collar)... and a rather large assortment of birds, cats, and squirrels.]

Okay, Koro-chan sticking around when I'm here is normal, he likes the snacks I bring. But this is getting fuckin' ridiculous.

7, text

So.

Say your best friend gets an offer you know he's not going to refuse. It's dangerous as shit, but somewhere along the way he decided he can punch all his problems until they stop being problems and it'll be fine.

I can possibly talk my way in too - they need the help, I meet the other base requirement, and I'd have to bullshit my way through an entrance exam but that won't be too bad. But I'm not sure if I should. But I don't want to throw him to the wolves and not be able to help him.

Would you try anyway, or tell him to go have fun, or come up with some other way to keep him from getting himself killed?

(OOC: My kingdom for Aki or Mitsuru... who would be the only P3s Shinji knows at this point, as this is around the time he and Akihiko would be joining SEES. XD For what it's worth, I'm FemC timeline all the way, but interested in whether this would still mean October 4th is a clusterfuck or not.)

7, couldn't resist having some persona mythology confusion

[oneiroslacker]

Speaking as somebody who has an impulsive and reckless friend, just offer him some encouragement when he gets hurt! Like 'hey, try not to get hit next time, I hear that's bad for your health'.

Morgana | Persona 5 Royal Post-Canon | OTA

[notafreakingcat]

1:
[A photo of a cat dressed up in a maid outfit can be seen]
Hey! How did this get posted here?! Nobody look at this! This is a lie! It's photoshopped! Look away!

7:
Hey, does anyone know how to become human? Surely someone has to know, somewhere out there!

1

[tigerpoet]

What a cute cat.

Accord | Drakengard 3/Taroverse

[of_her_own_accord]

1
Posted: 7:39 PM

The prince had been gifted a sword at birth by the queen. She stated it showed he was destined for great things.

The sword was his most precious possession, evidence of a destiny he did not yet know about.

When he swung it in anger one day at his father, he lopped off his head. This started a bloody war of accession between him and his brother.

He lost, and the sword was used as the tool of his execution. His stepmother the queen, claiming the blade, smiled as her son took the throne.

Posted: 7:42 PM

THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A PUBLIC POST OH MY GOD IGNORE IT PLLEEEEEEEASE ＼(º □ º l|l)/

[27gfsandcounting]

Is this for one of those short-fiction horror contests? I guess it would be about the right time for those.

Aesop Carl | Identity V Stage Play | Open for Threadjacking, excuse the lack of icons.

[aesopsfunerals]

[Embarrassing moment]
[ Aesop Carl is a quiet man. The sort of person who doesn't enjoy or understand the need to socialize with living people.

The sudden introduction of a strange social network that forces you to interact with others becomes a huge problem in his case, especially since it materialized as a magic book that's somehow linked to a flying camera.

Now everyone's being treated to a video from the camera's perceptive as it follows an increasingly irritated embalmer through an old mansion. ]

... Go away. [ He tries to shoo it off, it doesn't listen. ] Leave me alone!

[Advice?]
[ FINE. The Badger wins. He'll go write something to the faceless masses so it'll stop bothering him. ]

Why does this network exist?

[ ... Yeah, he couldn't think of anything else to post. The faceless masses are still a bit intimidating. ]

[Princess Hiccup]
[ The post starts with an image of Aesop strapped to a rocket chair. A small menagerie surrounds him; A squirrel, an owl, multiple cats, a rabbit, and even a boar. ]

This was taken during the last match. I "died" about two minutes in.
Where are all these animals coming from?

Princess Hiccup

[ordinarythings]

[Surolam has to call Luca over to confirm the rocket chair is in the same style, but after that:] I have no idea, but what do you mean you "died"?

Takasaki Yuu | Love Live! School Idol Festival All Stars

[27gfsandcounting]

This sounds totally ridiculous, I know. But bear with me here. Has anyone ever been going about their life just normally, then seen something out of nowhere, total chance, and gone, "I want to be involved in that in whatever way I can?"

And... uh, what if it's idols and you can't sing? There's got to be something else I can do, right? Do school idol clubs let people just join to be their fans? I guess that's just groupies, huh...

[im_a_healer_but]

Hmm. There's some idols I could get in touch with who might be able to proffer ideas. Costuming, stagehanding, other stuff maybe?

Surolam Arcel | Pokemon OC | WCB CRAU

[ordinarythings]

Intro

[A young woman is shown onscreen, though not looking right at it. Her eyes are obviously unfocused and dulled, but she has a grin on her face.]

Hey Luca, I think you did it! Anyone out in another universe seeing this?

Creation Diary

[What's happening on screen seems to be...a recreation of the Big Bang? Surolam's voice can be heard offscreen.]

We finally got everything together for this. Just time to wait and see what we get out of it!

Intro

[lightnovelexperiences]

Breaker breaker 10-4, you are wall-to-wall and canyons tall!

[This from a jovial, if overweight, dark-haired man in glasses, who has a number of wallscrolls, manga and figurines on the bookshelf behind him. Also, empty soda cans.]

Heyo, welcome to BadgerNet! Tell me about your world cause mine's tremendously boring, unless you like programming delivery routes for hot wings and mini tacos. Or Valkyrie livestreams, I guess; Morgan's is pretty good...

(Leah) Jacob Kim-Michaels/Deedee Yeowoo, OU/OC (Isekai/Online)

[lightnovelexperiences]

1: It Might Not Seem Like Much... Cause It’s Not

[Okay, uh, whoever’s room this is probably needs to pick up way more often. There are empty cans of Cherry Coke everywhere, and books lying on the table next to the webcam, scattered dice, a chili dog from Tote-Em-Snax in the process of being eaten... it’s a mess.

The owner of this webcam, a dark-haired, tall and overweight guy-presenting fella in a t-shirt with an anime girl on it, retrains their webcam on themself and winces, adjusting his glasses.]

Ah, you uh, weren’t supposed to see that, sorry. Cast a game of DC last night, meant to pick it up, but... work at the Tote-Em-Snax was a nightmare...

Uh, anyway! How about that inter-dimensional AWOoo livestream idea, with the guys from Dungeoncrawling and Chill! Who wants to make characters?

7: I’ve Seen Enough Manga To Know Where This Is Going

isekai’d into AWOoo’s setting as Deedee, my foxgirl healer. Reset to first level with starter equipment, think we’re on the beginner’s island; other guildmembers here too in similar shape

Punched a dire crab thru a tree to rescue New Girl, also a kitsunejin, in the chainmail bikini set. She will not stop swearing at us/the situation

Please advise

7

[im_a_healer_but]

... So, wait.

Just to clarify this. You're trapped in an MMO???

That one's new to me.

Morticia Addams | Addams Family | OTA

[hemlockgarden]

[Morticia holds up the kitting project she is working on, an adorable onesie in black and grey with a spider across the chest. It also has three legs and a tail.]

I think the term, inelegant as it might be, is 'stitch and bitch'? The shoulders on poor Cousin Pathos' gift are proving ever so difficult. Heels I can do, but shoulders? At least the dear only has the two.

I'd quite appreciate some company while I frog the last two hours worth of work.

[textelepathy]

[Two almost idential, androgynous brown faces in matching, translucent visors and a scattering of facial piercings crowd the video screen, peering close.]

Hold up, hold up. Does that thing got four legs??
And did you just use frog as a verb?
Are you knittin'? We ain't never had the patience for knittin'. Me'n'Kubu tried it in creche but we was both terrible. [Lirikani snickers, earning an elbow in the side from their sibling.]

'Scuse you!! You was terrible. Teach said I had promise if I applied myself!

[Liri's turn to throw an elbow.] 'Scuse yourself! And don't you pick a fight with me, we're talking to the knittin' lady!